Thing 10: Write a scene where the only spoken dialog is "Uh-huh," "Umm," "Urrrr," and "Mm-mmm."

Preamble:
"Well then, this should be interesting. The easiest solution is to write a scene with no spoken dialog, but that would sap the fun right out of it, so I'm not going to do that."

Thing 10: Write a scene where the only spoken dialog is "Uh-huh," "Umm," "Urrrr," and "Mm-mmm."

 Chris groaned as his mind groggily shifted into focus. His entire body ached, despite being numb from having been stationary for so long. He didn't dare open his eyes for fear that the spinning of the room would accelerate. He couldn't handle that particular phenomenon in his current state -- it took all of his energy to even attempt to squirm.

The last thing he remembered was walking to his car after work. He was fumbling with his keys, and then... Nothing. His world went black.

He figured that the why of the thing could be dealt with later. His first priority was to determine exactly where he was and what his options were; to focus on the solution instead of the problem.

As feeling began to creep back into his enfeebled joints, he came to a number of alarming realizations. The first, and probably most distressing of these realizations, was that his hands and feet were all securely bound. His restraints dug painfully into his wrists and ankles, allowing very little leeway for even the slightest motion.

To say that would situation was uncomfortable would be doing it a great injustice.

The second realization was that he was also gagged. He couldn't determine the exact nature of the gag, but he could tell that it wrapped fully around his head, and was rather tight. He tasted what he hoped was a relatively clean cloth filling a good portion of his mouth, complimented with a slight metallic aftertaste. His effort to properly express his distaste with the scenario came out as a sordid "Urrrr," the rag allowing for little else.

The third realization was that the room was dark. Very dark. He opened his eyes when the spinning subsided a bit, but he could barely tell the difference. He blinked several times to try and trick his eyes into becoming more effective, but this effort was just as fruitless as any of his others. The shadowy outline of the small room's walls were enough to convince him that he hadn't gone blind, but the comfort provided by this fact was minimal at best.

He sat in silence for sevral minutes, blankly contemplating his predicament. In the end, all thoughts led to a single, melancholy notion: this sucks.

Eventually the darkness was partially dispelled as a blindingly dim display came to life before him. It was just a black background, but it stood in stark contrast to the blackness of his current dilemma. His confusion as to the nature of the screen was interrupted as white text began appear in the center of the display.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE, CHRISTIAN?

"Mm-mmm" His muffled assertion was accompanied with a sarcastic glare and a shake of his pounding head.

The text of the screen disappeared in response, quickly replaced by more of the same.

GOOD. I WOULDN'T WANT YOU FEELING TOO AT HOME. WE WON'T BE HERE LONG.

Chris let out an annoyed "Umm;" one of the few noises able to penetrate the cloth.

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, CHRISTIAN.

His eyes widened.

EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I SHOULDN'T.

For the first time, panic consumed him. He'd had his suspicions, of course, but it didn't seem real. There was still that desperate hope that this was all a dream, and it would be over any minute. Waking up didn't really seem like a possibility any more, so with a nervous gulp he began to pontificate what could have possibly been the best impromptu speech known to man.

"Mm-mmm, urrrr uh-huh mm-mmm, mm-mmm umm urrrr mm-mmm uh-huh!"

The speech went on like this for several minutes, and when it was over Chris couldn't help but feel rather proud. He hoped that his philanthropic efforts in the community and the speech's subtle references to Winston Churchill and the Dalai Lama were adequately conveyed.

TOUCHING.

He smiled as best he could through the gag. He was going to be freed. He was sure of it.

His confidence deflated significantly as a new line of text appeared on the monitor.

GOODBYE, CHRISTIAN.