In any case, I've decided I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things a bit. I haven't been writing very consistently (at least, nothing that I've managed to finish), but I have a bit of a backlog that can keep you entertained for whatever small amount of time you're willing to waste here that could otherwise be spent on productive things.
For now, I'm going to share with you some poems that I wrote a fairly long time ago, all things considered. Both came out of rejection, but I like to think that from pain comes poetry, and the first of the two I'm about to share I consider to be one of my best. Short, perhaps, but lovely.
So here's to you, my one, lonely reader. Keep on keeping on, and may you find the love that I never could.
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Innocence Lost
Can we just go back I beg, pretending I had never spoken
I messed up; ill-pondered words have left our perfect friendship broken
Caught astride this wayward tide I find I bide my time awoken
Sleep-deprived I sigh with heavy breaths that hide our reverie's token
Forgotten? It will never be, for there was far too much at stake
My heart laid bare, you left it crossed; dismantled, with my soul to take
And so I wonder, agonzing over every sound I make
Would I still be here crying had I kept my mouth shut, stayed a fake?
Love a fickle mistress be to my mind if there ever was
Those three small words a melody resulting in an awkward pause
And so I pick apart my diction, line by line to find the cause
Where I went wrong in my affliction to force such unabashed loss
In the end I wasn't good enough to see these feelings through
I hate myself, and now I see that it's apparent, so do you
I'd hoped there was a chance that we could make our ones a perfect two
But when I die, love's a thing that I'll have dreamed, but never knew
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Haunted
I'm haunted by your smile
I see it drift across a thousand visions
Waiting free of guile
Upon the endless bank of poor decisions
Once so full of hope
My mind now fights this war of sad attrition
Pushing ever forward
Though with heavy steps and weak ambition
Baited breath awaits me
As I don my sour disposition
Unsure of what's next
Within this labyrinth of heady missions
Life is just a game now
And its mettle tests my definition
Lost within myself
Betwixt the ebb and flow of soft volition
Now dispassionately
Do I hope to seek the shade of diction
Guarded by my words
My tender heart abides the intermission
Emotionally barren
Are the fallow fields of memory's prison
Infinitely tangled
In the tattered sheets of love's religion
I hate it when they say it
That I'll find my peace with other women
Binders of them
Seas of fish just standing by for acquisition
"Plenty of them out there"
But my frank response is snide derision
There was only one
Whose smile had ever changed my heart's position
It's you that I dream of
When my head is filled with apparitions
Though we barely spoke
Each time it felt akin to new editions
Chapters of my life
Unfolding readily for expedition
And now that it's over
I'd give anything for repetition
